Well guys... this is it. My last blog during this pregnancy. I have to admit... it's a little bittersweet. Just before starting this blog, I went back to the beginning of my posts and read about my sweet Peanut. It amazes me that in just six short days, we will be holding our baby girl.
I wanted to take some time to reflect back on this pregnancy, but right now my mind is in a million other places. I'm not sure if it's nerves, anxiousness, etc., but whatever it is... I just can't seem to get my thoughts down. So, what I've decided to do is to keep my journal out around the house and as things come to me I will jot them down. Then, after Ada's arrival, I will take the time to post one big post about her birth and the things I jotted down those last days leading up to it.
Again, the reason this post is later, is because I had my last doctor's appointment today. Unfortunately, my cervix still hasn't changed; however, we are still on for Tuesday! Here's why... after Dr. Daniel checked me, I asked him if he felt it was in mine and Ada's best interest to wait another week and see if my cervix changed. He was very honest and let me know that it could be beneficial to wait a week... and if my cervix still hasn't changed, to wait another week... but he wouldn't let me wait past 41 weeks. He told me that as far as the health and safety of Ada and myself, there was no difference between Tuesday and waiting. The only elevated risk was that right now, I'm at a higher risk of having a C-Section simply because my cervix hasn't changed. However, he was quick to let me know that I also wasn't guaranteed to have a C-Section just because my cervix was unchanged. So, Jordan and I made the decision to go ahead and go in on Tuesday.
I feel very confident in our decision; however, I also feel the need to explain it. Not to try to win the approval of those who may disagree with our decision, but simply for my own peace of mind. From the beginning of this pregnancy, I have been very up front that I did not want a c-section. However, not for many of the reasons one may think. It isn't because I don't want a scar... my stomach is very much decorated already with stretch marks that look like a road map of the U.S. It also isn't because I feel that I would be "missing out" on something by not delivering vaginally. The reason I haven't wanted (and keep in mind I'm still praying I don't have to have one) a c-section is because of the added recovery time. As anxious as I have been to have my baby and hold her, I've been just as anxious to "be" a mommy. Call me crazy, but I'm looking forward to the feedings, diaper changes, rocking, sleepless nights... just taking care of her... all the things that go into being a mother... and I know that the added recovery time of a c-section will slow down that "adjustment" period. I may not be able to do as much for her as I want to, simply because I would be healing. Please don't misunderstand that I want a c-section, because I most definitely do not. However, if that is the way God has ordained for my sweet baby to enter this world, then so be it. Jordan and I couldn't bring ourselves to make the decision to wait on meeting our baby girl simply because of the increased chance of having a c-section. Had there been risks to her health or my own... we absolutely would have waited... but there isn't a difference. Call us impatient, anxious, naive... whatever, but we are still going in Tuesday at 5PM to have our Ada :)
We are carrying our laptop to the hospital. We will try our best (well, my sisters will try their best... I'm going to be a little busy) to keep a few updates posted. We will try to do a post announcing her arrival with her stats (weight, length, time, etc) and then probably when we get home and settled... I will try to post a more detailed post of her birth.
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. We still need them! Pray that I wouldn't have to have a c-section. Pray that my body would respond quickly (but not too quickly) to the induction medicine. Pray that when we have the chances, we would rest. Pray that my stupid cervix would dilate before Tuesday. Pray that Ada would be a healthy baby... Just pray for us :) We love you all...
1 year ago